News, updates, and happenings with the Kragnes family: Phil, our Seeing Eye Dogs, and (me) Rebecca.

Easter, Spring, and hope

A couple weeks ago, I had a medication screw-up, as the pharmacy put the wrong braille labels on my meds. All three medications were anti-depressants, so you can about imagine what that did to my mood. Last week it seemed to reach it’s lowest point right during Holy week when I had four radio shows plus a doctor’s appointment which felt like a big d’l. There were also upcoming social things and of course intense church services. Sleeping and crying were my best friends, as both allowed me to get the icky stuff out and still function. I can feel things starting to stabilize, although sleeping more is still necessary. This really taught me a valuable lesson about making sure the shapes of medication really did change before trusting someone’s braille label. The pharmacy staff were horrified when they learned of the mistake and have instituted policies in which two people will check that the correct braille label is put on the right bottle. There will also be a party who has to log responsibility for labeling in case there’s another mistake like this. It’s such a little thing, but wow can it make a big difference!!!
The four radio shows went great, although I feel better knowing I only have the normal two this week. The doctor’s appointment wasn’t bad but not what I hoped, and the one social thing was wonderful. We had planned a game night with friends last night, as the Malt Shop was closed for Easter. Unfortunately, Phil awoke with a fever yesterday. He had the normal joint aches going along with his fever, but it didn’t seem to last long. He was congested part of the day, but even that sounded better this morning. He’s off to work and seemed ok.
Good Friday church was emotional for me, and I have the feeling it was the interaction between my depression and the solemnity of what was being observed. Phil put gold magnetic clasps on the gold cross necklace my mom sent me last fall, Blessed by Pope Francis. Wearing it on Friday and during three out of four Radio shows brought such comfort for some reason. But it was the Easter Vigil Saturday which is the main reason for my writing. Last year, I attended my church’s Easter vigil for the first time with a friend, and it felt far better than attending Easter morning as I had previous years. On Easter morning, people would ask if I was headed to celebrate Easter, and although some years we put things in place, it still was tough to be in church alone and seeing all these people there with their loved ones. Then there was the music. I have no wish to be in the choir, but Easter is the one time I felt left out of things with multiple instruments and the choir singing. Even at Christmas I’m at the piano, and frankly it radically decreases any sense of being without loved ones with me in church. At last year’s Easter Vigil, there was a procession into the relatively dark church with candles. I’m not a fan of fire, unless I can turn it on and off with a switch. I was afraid of touching someone with the flame or having hot wax drip, so I watched and enjoyed others’ candles. This year, I had an idea about how to be part of things without having to deal with candles. I wore a certain necklace and earrings Phil made for me and entered the dark church. This year there was no procession, as it was raining, so the light was spread from candle to candle first on the alter and then in the congregation. When I felt the time was right, I turned on my wearable art earrings and necklace with their multiple and changing colored lights. Although I didn’t know the people around me (as the friend I went with was a lector), the woman sitting next to me knew me from attending that 5:30 Mass when I am often at the piano under normal circumstances. She was very friendly and really admired my jewelry. There was also a couple of older ladies who ran a running commentary about everything throughout the Mass, and I could tell they really liked my lights, too. I felt a part of things and maybe even a little distinctive with my multicolored, lighted jewelry.
My braille display has to be shipped back for repair, but this morning, I discovered even that won’t be as bad as I envisioned. Months ago, a braille keyboard was dropped from my phone, and it was something on which I dearly depended. Then I got my braille display, and things were better. Just this morning I discovered the keyboard on my phone is back again, so I can quickly write switching back and forth from the braille keyboard to the application in which I’m writing. I’ll miss my display, but it’s better to get it fixed while under warrantee.
We are slowly coming up on the magical time of spring, my favorite season. Before then, I really want to get my laundry done. Between hurting my knee and the depression, it’s been piling up all winter, and as the mood stabilizes, I really want to get it under control before the deck outside becomes seductive. I’m also hopeful that I will finally sit down at the piano this spring too with Phil at work and laundry under control. 

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Comments on: "Easter, Spring, and hope" (3)

  1. OlRedHair said:

    Mislabeling medications is Not a little thing. Thank God you are OK! It could have had life threading potential. I’m glad the pharmacy has instituted corrective action.

    I’m curious. How does a Braile display work?

    • The braille display is full of pins which stick up to create the dots which form the letters in braille cells. Mine is called the “Smart Beatle”, and if you google it, there will be a picture of the device, and that might give you a better idea. Hope this helps.

  2. Thank you for your post a few weeks ago. I’m going to be more descriptive with my pictures on Facebook. I appreciate your writing about this.

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