News, updates, and happenings with the Kragnes family: Phil, our Seeing Eye Dogs, and (me) Rebecca.

the April theory

I am unsure whether I pay attention to what happens in our country more in the month of April because of my birthday on the 25th. but I have had a theory for a while that April almost inevitably means a month in which there will be tragic violence among the Masses in America. Granted, shootings in schools and other public places have sadly become way too common during all twelve months of the year, but there is something about April which seems to bring out violence in some people. I noticed the trend starting in high school. There seemed to be more fights and controversy breaking out in the spring, and it wasn’t just the seniors who wanted to graduate and get out. My older sister would come home and tell my mom about the latest goings-on, and there would be talk about how the warmer weather was bringing it out in people.

On April 19, 1993, there were shootings as the Branch Dividians were dealt with in Waco, Texas. That same date in 1995 was the Oklahoma City Bombing. April 20 of 1999 was when the Columbine shootings occurred. April 17, 2007 was the date of the Virginia Tech shootings. If only April 15th this year could have been just another tax day, but the Boston Marathon Bombings happened. (Fortunately for us, that day included a very nice evening spent at Red Lobster with Phil’s cousins.) Just a few days later on another April 19, the whole country held its breath as one of the suspects was brought into custody. It seems like I have forgotten things in my Chronology, but I do think warmer weather brings out something in people. I’ve certainly felt it myself in past years. I’m a little edgier … a little more of a loose cannon, and I really watch myself as a result.

This year, I think the weird, unseasonal snow and cold has made me feel more restless than the anger which usually permeates this time of the year. Many of you know I have Seasonal Affect Disorder, and fall and winter are hard times for me. There were many days this winter when I couldn’t do much of anything, because it was just too much effort. Although I managed to get Phil’s laundry done, my laundry sat in hampers and baskets for very long periods, and I never did get to the bottom this winter. The dead mouse smells and the events in our lives meant very little motivation to put my clothes away. With the smell out of the closets, I’m working on that mountain of laundry, and if it ever gets warm, I’ll put away the heavy, dark, colored winter clothes in favor of the lighter fabrics and colors of spring and summer. I’ll sit on my porch and take in the sun on spring days and move to the deck when the sun pouring into the porch is too hot in the summer. when the snow disappears for good, I’ll try to go more places on the bus with Zane instead of depending on the more expensive, time limiting Para transit system. I hope I will isolate myself less and feel more like talking to people. Friends have asked why they haven’t heard from me, and frankly, I just didn’t have much to say worth their hearing.

I Am having a couple of small get-togethers with friends for my birthday, and although I’ll probably spend most of my actual birthday by myself, at least I have the April book club meeting by phone that evening. Phil is taking Friday off to spend the day with me, and I have a nice gig that night, which I hope will turn into other playing possibilities if the planner who booked me likes what she hears. Saturday Phil and I will go to a theater very close to where we live and give input on accessibility issues before he goes to dialysis and I play at church. The Internet Radio Station to which I often listen is having a big birthday weekend with exciting programming next weekend. Mushroom FM and I have the same birthday, but I’m only 38 years older.

I look forward to serene and social spring days and pray that people in my city will be so grateful for warm weather that we won’t have any major violent events.

Finally, Phil attended a lecture on hope earlier this week, and the speaker defined hope as not only wishing and longing for something to happen, but also working toward it’s occurrence. Phil and I are hoping for that position to become his later this spring. It would be such a positive step for us both but of course especially for him. With more energy, I really want to make the piano a friend of mine and maybe get it tuned. I hope the warmer weather and lighter days will mean I’ll have things to say through music as well.

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