I have been worried when informed Phil would be coming home for the weekend. But what’s really confusing are the reasons they may be bringing him back in. One theory is that he’s going to get the artificial graft we’ve been wanting. Unfortunately, we also got a call supporting a second theory that he’s scheduled for an insertion of yet another catheter. He’ll have another dialysis run tomorrow, and they’ll take out the temporary port afterward. He will come home with the pick line they put in today, because they may want that access next week when he is back in for whatever procedure they end up doing. I can’t imagine my husband having to live two or three weeks with this thing hanging out of his Thigh, and I think it’s relatively near the groin! He can’t get it wet, so bathing probably will be out as will showering. Phil is extremely conscious of being clean, and of course, cleanliness helps little infections from going into the catheter, too. I believe given all that he’s experienced this week, they are actually considering another catheter and in a place where it will be harder to keep clean. Of course, his inability to get it wet affects the rest of his body’s cleanliness too.
And does this cut out any last bike rides for the year? If the graft waits until the 15th, we’re going to be near when the snow starts accumulating. It will really upset him if all this takes one more pleasure away. And speaking of pleasure, … I won’t go there, but I have questions about that too. Chances are no one will talk to me, and they’ll tell Phil as much as he absolutely needs to know. Then he’ll have to figure the rest out for himself. I know it’s a paranoid thought, but I wonder if they want him to give up with all of the barriers to a normal life they are placing before him right now. One less person on the kidney list to deal with. That probably sounds beyond twisted, but I am mad in case that isn’t apparent. It’s inconceivable that they do this! It could be there are things I don’t know about which will help, but right now, I am not seeing them.
There’s one thing I know though. He’ll do whatever they throw at him just to prove them wrong about giving up. I’ve had more than one person tell me Phil is the most resilient person they know. I hope and pray this resiliency pulls him through yet again.