News, updates, and happenings with the Kragnes family: Phil, our Seeing Eye Dogs, and (me) Rebecca.

the Night of Dialysis

It’s the night of dialysis, and all through the home,
Every creature is sleeping, except me alone.
I let the dogs out. They requested to pee,
Now I’m settled with a glass of peach iced tea.
I wonder how many dialysis spouses,
Sit up like me feeling helpless in their houses?
the sounds of Phil sleeping are so reassuring,
His rhythmic breathing including the snoring.
But then the moans start, and it’s not due to dreaming,
I hope this won’t be a night that he starts screaming.

If I sleep beside him, I’m jolted awake,
by the sounds of his pain and the angst of his ache.
A dialysis side effect is severe cramping,
And just as I get sleep to start revamping,
It happens again, and he’s groaning and crying,
No wonder both our sleep’s not satisfying!
Nothing I can say, nothing I can do,
But to lie there and pray the cramp works itself through.

Cramps wander his body, but tonight as it stands,
The worst ones are felt in his fingers and hands.
Eating with fork and retrieving his pills,
Were the earlier culprits for the cramps of Phil’s.

“Did they pull too much fluid?” I repeatedly question,
When the cramps come after a dialysis session.
their scales don’t make sense the way they calculate,
What is supposed to be Phil’s true dry weight.
In Dialysis World, at least today’s best,
the staff listen and respond to patients’ requests.
In the past it was taken to tortured extremes.
they kept pulling with no regard for cramps and screams.

Phil seems to have settled. I hope I am right,
That he will sleep well the remainder of night.
Nope, he awoke moaning, so for bed I’m still leery,
I’ll wait a half hour ”til my eyes are more bleary,
Maybe then I can sleep without feeling the jump,
of the mattress which makes my adrenaline pump. Low sugar? No, he’s no longer diabetic,
My continued reaction after years is pathetic!
But it served me well to wake up at the time,
Phil needed my help at the drop of a dime.
But now the jolts awake serve little purpose,
And sleeping before they occur feels so worthless.

To those who critique my staying up late,
If you heard what I heard, you’d know why I wait,
To retire to bed when things are more calm,
And sleep washes over me like healing balm.


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